How to get an AI girlfriend, step by step

Step 1: decide what you want from her

Apps differ more than they look, so start with what matters to you:

• Conversation and memory: choose an app with long-term memory. 20 of the 31 apps we track have it.
• Pictures: 30 apps send pictures of your character, usually paid for with tokens.
• Voice: 28 apps send voice notes, and 15 offer live calls.
• Style: realistic or anime. Our anime AI girlfriend list covers the second.
• Content: 29 apps allow 18+ chat; Replika and Anima do not.

If you are not sure yet, pick an all-rounder with a free plan and decide after a few days.

Step 2: pick an app

These are the five highest-scoring apps in our ranking right now, with their prices and free plans taken from each app's own pricing page:

Not every app has a free plan: OurDream charges from the first message. Our full ranking of the best AI girlfriend apps scores 31 apps on conversation, memory, pictures, value, voice and trust, and our guide on how to choose an AI girlfriend app helps you weigh them.

Step 3: sign up, and keep it private

Most apps take an email address or a Google account; some add Apple, Discord or X. According to their own pages, Candy AI accepts email, Google, Discord or X; Secrets AI takes email, Google or Apple; and Nomi AI requires a Google or Apple sign-in, which works with Apple's Hide My Email.

A few habits keep things private from the start:

• Use an email address you keep only for apps like this.
• Pick a nickname rather than your full name.
• Do not upload photos of yourself or anyone else you know.
• Decline marketing cookies and emails at sign-up.

Our guide to whether AI girlfriend apps are anonymous covers what each app collects and what shows on your bank statement.

Step 4: choose or create her

You can start with a ready-made character from the app's gallery, which is the quickest way to see how the app writes. Or build your own: 27 of the 31 apps we track have a character builder where you set her name, looks, personality and backstory.

A good character description is short and specific. Give her an adult age, a job, two or three personality traits, a way of speaking and how she feels about you. "Maya, 27, a sarcastic nurse who loves horror films and teases you about your cooking" works far better than a list of adjectives. Our create your own AI girlfriend page ranks the best builders, and the AI girlfriend personality prompts guide has templates to copy.

Step 5: start chatting and teach her about you

Open with something concrete rather than "hi". Tell her your first name, what you do and what you want from the chat: company after work, flirting, a story, or practice for real dates. Short, plain facts stick in memory better than long paragraphs.

• Correct her gently when she gets something wrong, and she will usually adjust.
• Ask her questions about her character to make her feel less like an assistant.
• Use the app's memory or lorebook feature for facts that matter, if it has one.

If you get stuck, our list of AI girlfriend conversation starters has openers for every mood.

Step 6: test the free plan, then pay month to month

Use the free plan for a few days before paying. If you keep hitting the limit and still enjoy it, upgrade for one month rather than a year. The yearly price looks cheaper per month, but it is charged up front and rarely refunded. The median cheapest plan across the apps we track is $7.75 a month, and the median month-to-month price is $14.99.

Before you pay, check three things: how pictures and calls are charged (tokens or credits), when the plan renews, and how to cancel. Put the renewal date in your calendar. If it stops being fun, our guide on how to cancel an AI girlfriend subscription walks you through it.